New teachers are repeatedly told that it's essential to establish strong relationships with their students, and I am one of the voices contributing to the chorus. This is because I know relationships are the foundation on which you will build your ability to manage and engage your students. Building that foundation deserves time and effort. It also requires cultivation all year long, not just at the beginning. But HOW do you do that? What exactly can you do to create a strong climate and to build relationships with your students all year, not just in the first days of class? I'm going to give you the why first, and then a whole bunch of strategies for the how.
Time spent on relationship-building is never a waste
Recently, I read a post in a Facebook group where a new teacher was asking how much time to spend on getting-to-know-you activities. I was shocked, I must say, at how many teachers jumped in, calling them a waste of time. Others stated that they didn't do them because they wanted students to know from the beginning that their class was rigorous.
I have to disagree with both of these reasons. Getting-to-know-you activities are not a waste of time, and they do not indicate that your class will be "slack." In fact, they are an essential tool for classroom management.
First, let's distinguish between icebreakers and getting-to-know-you activities. Icebreakers are often overused at staff meetings and PD sessions and are, let's be honest, the bane of an introvert's existence. If you want to use icebreakers - short activities that usually require students to stand, move, and talk to people they don't know well - keep those to a minimum and then move on to activities that help you get to know your students and to build a classroom community.
Why? When a student feels like you see them, when they know you actually care, they are less likely to act up in class and are more likely to engage. It's that simple. It does not mean they will always be perfectly behaved and the best students you've ever had, but a climate where everyone feels comfortable and welcome makes a big difference.
And that takes some time - time that is well spent and not wasted.
Climate Building at the First of the Year
First, learn your students' names quickly and use them often. This way, you can spark a sense of connection right away. Be at the door before and after class, so you can be ready to welcome your students into your world. This is the perfect time to get to know your students as people by talking to them about things unrelated to your course. Make this a practice all year, not just in the early days.
Once through that door, my first days of school activities serve a triple purpose: they introduce the course, build the climate for our class, and begin to review ELA skills.
Some teachers want to dive into content right away because they don't feel like they have time to waste. They also want students to know that theirs is a rigorous class. However, getting-to-know-you exercises and rigor are not mutually exclusive - especially if you start teaching content while you use them.
For example, both of these beginning-of-the-year activities focus on climate building AND reviewing important ELA skills: Creating the Story of Our Class and an Introductions and Conclusions activity. Each one allowed me to start teaching while still getting to know my students.
Give Students a Voice in Setting the Climate
One of the first things I did with my students was to have a big discussion about what we wanted the climate of our class to be like - and I showed them right from the beginning that I wanted to give them some voice and choice during our time together. To do this, we worked together to set the expectations for the class. During this activity, students began to develop the skills they need to collaborate and share ideas, something they will be expected to do throughout the school year. You get more details about that process here.
I also put the focus on expectations, not rules. This puts a more positive spin on behavior, especially if you model and reinforce the expectations that were set. And, when you can frame your reinforcement of these expectations positively, students react better because you are also building your relationship with them. This is a practice that you can use all year, not just at the beginning.
Build relationships all year:
Cultivating your relationships with your students is not just a task for the first days of school; in fact, it will pay dividends if you build relationships with your students all year. Here are some strategies you can use (click here to grab more details)
✱ Make it a regular habit to be at the door, greeting your students. Not only is this a friendly practice, but it is also the perfect time to have any private chats you might need to have with particular students.
✱ Pick three–five students a day that you will make a special effort to have a chat with. The chats don’t have to be long; it could just be a quick question on their way in the door. The point is that you are deliberate in making sure you spend a little time with each student. These should be positive in nature, rather than the discussions you may need to have about behavior or missing assignments.
✱ Share yourself and build in opportunities for times when students can share themselves too. Writing prompts, journals, etc, are excellent vehicles for this.
✱ Sit in on small group discussions and act as a participant. You're there to be part of the discussion, not to just listen in. This can be a powerful way to get to know them and model good discussion practices while you're there.
✱ Use your feedback to make a connection with your students. For example, if they are writing a narrative about when their first pet died, you can write a note that validates their feelings –oh, that must have been so hard – or that connects it to your own experience - I’ll never forget how I felt when my dog died.
✱ Ask them to help you solve problems. For example, if the class has been too noisy, or there's been too much phone use, put it to them: how can we solve this problem? Building a classroom code of conduct together can be very powerful for building climate and managing behaviour (Get ideas for this here and here).
✱ Admit when you "fail"; apologize when you need to. Both of these things model good human behavior to your students and help them see you as a person who wants to connect with them.
✱ Lighten up when you need to. Have a sense of humor. If they say something funny, take a minute to laugh, as long as it's not inappropriate. Take some time off for fun - you'll be able to make up that time if your students know when it's time to focus.
👉🏻 If you'd like to get more details about how you can build relationships with your students all year, click here for the download.
If you'd like some ready-to-use and engaging resources for relationship building, check these out:
